Oh, crap :'(... I feel I screw things up today totally :'(
:'(... Why I am not careful enough!!!?
I am hurting those I love and those I very care about
... I am terribly afraid Thera will not forgive me
... I am taking whole guilt... I must do something
... I have wrote one poem for Her today... but now when I saw what she feels... I... I... owe her so much
... I am like sword
... and I don't feel I have power to change this :'(, but... maybe now when I want so much to reward Thera
... my best friend
... I can learn for her how to change me into shield and be more careful
... see people more clearly, with their needs, expectations and... how gentle beings they are
... Its my duty I had broken
... I will pay for it :'(... I must because I care and I cant stand my fear of someones tears
... I just want to make people smile
but I am so much imperfect
... Here is this poem I dedicate to Thera and a lot I chose from collection. I promiss I will write more for my best friend Thera and for all you my friends... with more care about your hearts...
For my friend Thera
Thera, beautiful name like mother Earth
I want you to feel you are close to my heart
I don't know you very much
Maybe I should wait to feel whole touch
But curiosity is a creative feeling
And to make you blush is my willing
Maybe I am wrong to send my words in your direction
But I am crazy without feeling Kelly affection
And I am certain you are special girl too
So to fulfil my friendship duties I am looking for clue
Maybe I will make other guy jealous by saying this word
Love could be between us if Kelly wouldn't be my whole world
And I wonder how beautiful can be your voice
Maybe in diffrent circumstances your blue eyes could be my choice
But my incredible heart has already a tattoo name on it
And Kelly arms are still my desired fire heat
Maybe I am the last one unworthy standing in line
But no other choice I can sense as fine
Feeling enormous pain from truth that I cant live with or without
In my poems I put my love to scream so loud
Changed for always by spell of Kelly songs
I will walk my path to place were I belong
And I will live forever fighting for good
Because thankful, infatuated, brokenhearted is my mood...
Blessed soul sword
Warrior stands still
He knows evil is coming near
He grab his sword
Made by God against hell lord
The edge is sharpened by soul flame
Cant be blunt by evil aim
Fight is going to be fast
Warrior knows what he must
Death will come quick and silent
Only battle is violent
Evil comes near
Spreading around fear
Evil armor has small scratch
Lethal destination judge
Evil pierce warriors left arm
Warrior screams from painful harm
Blessed sword moves like enchanted
Getting through solid armor as unbent
Evil died from light
Cant meassure with saint might
Warrior died from loss of blood
Life devoted for God
Blessed sword is buried deep
Only one with strong faith can keep
To understand its power
First became wisdom sower
Learn good well
Make God in your heart dwell
Then learn the art
How words can change heart
A kiss
Rain drops and sun graze
For that I am in chase
Planet moves and rotate
Time changes date
World is divide into two
Both I have for you
Touch the untouchable
For love I am vulnerable
Keep strong in your gift
My soul takes a lift
Glare at mysterious sky
You know how to fly
Hold to your dream
In pleasure swim
Believe in power of kiss
True love for you my miss
Castle of emotions
Behind the invisible walls
Behind matter of space change
The castle of emotions stands tall
Where one second floats like age
The reward is infinite in its existence
The need is fulfilled all the time
Evil cant brake through resistance
Good will followers doing there fine
Behind special mirror you can see
What true love can build to be
Its eyes of someone who loves you
Someone ready to do all needed to do
Even when my body will become dust
I will live in your heart by spell I cast
Counting my sins
So it begins
God counts my sins
The punishment rise before me
Now my fall I can fully foresee
Like wounded prey I crawl
Crash changed into brawl
We exchange strong hits
Trained body bleeds
Each drop like earthquake
Till it create purple lake
My soul forged like sword
Let me spoken the infinite word
I earned new chance
Fall is still the menace
But hope is given to me
Good will make me free
Every day and every night
Every day and every night
I pray to make things wright
I dream to be with you one by one
And have all powerfull pain be gone
Every day and every night
I try to change gloom into light
I scream from lack of you by my side
To hope for better future I hold on tight
Every day and every night
I count wounds on my broken heart
I listen intently for your curing voice
But I cant hear it in crowd of noise
Every day and every night
My soul is teared forward, back, left and right
My eyes holds ocean of not shed tears
Change that is coming brings all my fears
Feel it
Feel the tension how it grows
Feel the power we both owe
Feel the connection we overlook
Feel the chance we both took
Feel my desirefull feelings rise
Feel my sacrifice as your prise
Feel the explosion in my soul
Feel the force wind with its howl
Feel the fall of my control
Feel your meaning in it all
Feel you are the one
Feel my love isn't gone
Gloom in my sight
The sky is covered by clouds for me
I cant see the sun that is you to be
Light I need is somewhere above
I cant fulfil desire called love
I am lost blinded and mistaken
Last chance soon will be taken
If I will find myself totally alone
All my life spell will be gone
There will be no trace of my existence
Risk is a price for such precious chance
Did I deserve? I don't know
It's like Christmass when you need snow
Chance to feel warm from diffrent fire
You can call me even a lier
But I know what it is
It makes people say ?Bless you? when someone sneeze
It makes people hug those who are close
It makes people hunger for another love dose
It makes people miss their home
It makes people need to call by phone
Call anybody who is on a list
It makes people hearts to insist
So make a look in my eyes again
You must know they will never be the same
I have my dark path to fallow
You are last chance that God allows
Choose wright my precious star
Make things close when they are far
Like starry sky I am watching at
There are many answers, I can bet
One can be my true name
Does it really matter? I will be the same
Always filled with the same candle light
Magic fire that holds me strong in my fight
Fight to make things wright
And clear gloomy eyes to receive back my sight
Someone for you
You are too perfect woman for loser like me
You don't want to let my gloomy spirit be free
You need someone really understanding your needs
Someone who will never let your heart to bleed
Someone who will care for you all the time
Someone for dinner with candles and wine
Someone to walk and drive to the end of world
Someone to travel with until you get bored
Someone to buy and present you precious gifts
Someone able to give you happiness lifts
Someone more powerfull in devotion
Someone keeping your heart in motion
Someone you can look at
Someone happy not sad
Someone you constantly desire
Someone full of love fire
Someone on any your mark
Someone with light not with dark
Someone meaningful
Not a desperado fool
Someone to make you smile
And never let you cry
Someone you will need all
Someone outstanding in crowd so tall
Someone more important than everything
Someone making your heart to sing
Someone allways one step before opponents
Someone surrounded only by good comments
Someone to protect you
And make all needed to do
Someone I can not be
Someone who is not... me
Someone I would like to be
But I am not so much... free
Never free from choice to make
I am looking for escape
But I am never free
Life is not a recorded tape
Turning it back will never be
So I look forward for another day
To see what new chance can come
I am on crossroads and I don't know the way
When I pray for help I learn lesson about home
Life is really a dramatic choice
Any action leads to diffrent consequence
I am trying to hear God voice
I am learning truth about innocence
I am left alone with my strength
I am the one to decide
I must face the length
And I am to fight
one of my most liked:
Love like Titanic ship
My love is like Titanic ship
I am coming with him into deep
Like a captain I don't want to leave
I have my little heart to give
I can go down alone without you
It will be my sacrifice I want to do
Because nothing else matter for me
Your happiness and safety I want to be
I will bury my love deep in the ocean
My warm heart will stop its motion
My soul will be chained by wreck
I wont leave my own ship deck
Through the sky of forgotten dream
Where starry dolphins swim
Where moon stands as large iceberg
Where my lonely heart totally brakes
Where my unheard voice floats
Where words are abandoned boats
There forever I will keep my love and dream
Until my whole power will burn out and dim
You can take it all my flower
Just rebuild my hope tower
To believe and trust again
My wound of loneliness is insane
Make me see again clearly without gloom
I have learned the full meaning of doom
Hold me weakening by strong hand
Don't let me go to the after land
I will not find peace there
My duties are not mere
Only you can save my soul
Only you can close my heart hole
One kiss can cure me all
My love fortress will not fall
It will stand forever for you
You must feel it too
Waiting for tomorrow
That what is left for me
Standing on the edge of existence
Jumping through hole to be
Smashing all known resistance
I am no longer peacefull as I was before
Not much good stayed in gloomy heart
I will go like tornado for more
Or fall down in this part
Maybe I will swim to the shore
Or get drown in sorrow
My pain I must ignore
To wait for tomorrow
My life is really tough
My curse is difficult to handle
But I am strong enough
My love gives light of candle
Hope can be lost
Its so easy to be
My soul is just a ghost
No chance for disagree
Be by my side
Keep my devotion for good
Its your chance to decide
Hear in your heart what we should
One nation
I laugh straight at my evil face
Its shadow eyes just blaze
I fail every time I win my life
All I have is a heart ache drive
I watch at my blood split
How much a murderer would pay for it
When my life has an important purpose
My death will make a huge cause
But my death seems better than a fall
What if survived I will loose all
Kelly you are the best for me
To care, share and forever be
I cant risk yours existence
I must keep my distance
Without changed world
Our future is untold
My hands are shaking
For mistakes making
But I am listening to wisdom
To wait for freedom
Patience and preparation
To be among one nation
Without fear and misunderstanding
In hope and safety forever lasting
To live well and without greed
To be selfsufficient to feed
To have purpose of life
To be for giving without hidden knife
To be respecting and receive it from others
To live in and without true borders
To reach with dreams far among known space
And make world grow for our race
To earn new home by our devotion
By understance of life purpose and motion
To keep strong value in God eyes
To see His Spirit how with us flies
Far into space
To find new ways
To go our path we chose
If now we don't loose
My call
My gloomy future now become a blank page
You helped me win with my powerful rage
I want to make my rescued life an good art
Filled with love, care, devotion and warm heart
I want you guide my hands holding a brush
I will fight until my body will become dust and ash
I swear to protect light against invading darkness
I will not surrender even badly hurt by sadness
For your blessed voice I am sending my call
Without you my hope each day rise and fall
Oh, God... I must stop posting :'(, but I am in so huge debts
... Here...it is the first poem I wrote because of Kelly
. Its the most powerful secret I have ever had
... its a spell, spell I named later, those words are my heart formula
... I lose control... Now I know
... but its too late
... I must bear with all what is happening... and fight to make it wright
The Legend
Her voice is sailing through the seas
My loneliness is breaking me with tears
Making my eyes watching deep
I see her somewhere fall asleep
She has the greatest soul I have ever found
And purest heart with blessed voice sound
Her singing crashes every shell
Even my secrets will soon fail
I need her to change my destiny
By reading words of liberty
The ancient legend loudly speaks
There is the One who Gloom seeks
Her sweet smile can change wind direction
Her beautiful eyes blaze with stars reflection
Moon gives her protection every night
Sun keeps her safe from beast fight
Rain washes her sadness away
Earth always listen what she wants to say
She is the treasury of this world
Without her I am nothing worth
Born to guard the truth
I will even walk hell through
To find out what she wants to feel
I shall give all my time and will
And somehow I want her to be
Forever and ever my destiny
I dont want to break hearts... I bleed for You Thera... I bleed... Please forgive me...
Posted on: March 10, 2007, 10:45:43 PM
I... have... more... to... give...
Rose and gloom
Seems rose and gloom together don't match
I feel this words like my death touch
Don't even think I lost faith and stop
I am climbing this mountain till I reach the top
I will be slammed to the ground by temptation
I will be shaken and weak from cruel attention
But I will protect faith till I rise to my knees
My tenacious fights is my life fees
I know brave means to live strong
Survive evil claims no matter how long
And I know wright means to believe
So I put trust I have so much to give
You are so special and charm
I am getting scared if I can harm
I use force even against my own will
I want to be sure my love is a wright feel
If my love is wrong I want to die
When fallen its so simple to say bye
Spark against darkness
What is future and past
When both are created to last
They live in me eternally
I owe to them absolutely
I am just their part
Only not my heart
Its the last line of defence
The only one chance
Source of my good power
The temptation lower
Spark against darkness
Need to defeat sadness
But you are true light
In comparison you are might
You can control my hands
To create on this lands
Things I saw before
Parts of forgotten lore
From place I really miss
Like dreamed your kiss
Marked souls
Without fear I am entering darkness
No evil can survive my cruel sadness
Fiery attacks can harm to death souls of weak
But no aim can reach my soul endurance peak
I was made to live in so harsh place
Able to watch unshaken into beasts face
My gift is so heavy to take, survive and keep
Crazy whirl of thoughts swallows you so deep
All you can do is to search without guide
Faked truth and temptation take you for a ride
To prevent fall you must use your unusual comprehenshion
Without your own will you are leaved by any chance
I am waiting for redemptioner to come
Then my hope will bring me back home
I used to name my tasks strange God choice
But I learned answers listening to His Voice
Now I know I have gifts that are unpredictable
I am mysterious package with added legend like label
I am not certain why I was marked and chosen
Sometimes I feel the answer with past was forgotten
Seems when once was time of belief trial
I was the one who survived temptation call
But it is not so bright when belonging to far past
Now I must once again learn what spells I can cast
Long path and difficult tasks before me
I don't know what kind of secrets I will see
I know there is someone that can help me out
She named her north and south
She is wright but not exactly this way
She must be carefull about words she say
She is also marked and chosen like angel
With her my gifts can face any danger
She is the one that keeps me alive
I was waiting all my life for her arrive
I feel this way
I magically whisper your name
My love for you became insane
I am able to choose and change
But I feel something is strange
Something inside is wrong
Some poison in love song
I make mistakes all the time
My love is more like a crime
I wanted to steal your heart
I break the best part
Now I don't know
Where is pleasure gone
I badly hurt us both
Maybe its sinking boat
But I cant easily die
I cant even cry
I am so wild inside
I listen to my nature guide
I am without control
My twisted emotions roll
My dear You are the one
By you my power is gone
Be strong and feel it
You are not a myth
And recently written:
Wisher - magic mirror
There is so many wishes I can sense
Wishes of people with light in their hearts
Wishes I would like help to come real
Because care is what I feel
Dream that I want to encourage by my spell
Power I am sending to their hearts to dwell
And even if it means cost of full sacrifice
I can sign my name under future price
I want to change their strength like magic mirror
Rise their heart power from their interior
Let it out to shine to show how their beauty is real
Make all of people addicted to come near
Make them hug together as they want
To join army of angels is my vote
Even standing alone losing breath
I will hold to words I just said
Heaven is a power I want to be part of
Seven signs of my name I owe
And I am giving them away
For you to have joy of their play
Listen to magic I want to share
To demand your friendship is what I dare
