Topic: My poems

[kelzduckadork66]

awwwww

[hazel681]

wow you are reallllllllllllllll lllllllllllllllly AWESOME! one of the best poems i've ever read.

[kelzduckadork66]

obviously you havent read mine yet...lol JK!you rock dude!you really are an amazing writer!

[Stinky]

In the dark.

Tuck me in a world to hide.
place beside me a world I long to leave behind.
My eyes adjust to the once lonely dark,
hold peacfully this nothing until walls do part.

My hands are cold, but soon to be warmed,
scars have faded from those who scorned.
A smile cracks upon my face
all wrong has left here, without a trace.

[kelzduckadork66]

amazing!
i wish i was that good!

[Stinky]

haha I woudn't go that far, but thanks babe 

[kelzduckadork66]

well yer actually alot better but whatever!you rock..lol

[Fiona682]

As for *In the Dark* i dont like your use of words but i like the story you were trying to portray if that makes any sence. great job.

[dutchgirlfan]

ahw..what a hopefull poem "in the dark'' God bless you!

[Stinky]

THank you

[kelzduckadork66]

 

[Stinky]

Just for you.
(A little bitter but that was the idea)

I saw you yesterday your hand in another.
Her head held high, so proud to be with you.

The stories I heard you tell,
were those of a thousand times before.

I heard them all, like promises
written on a page across my heart.

Get out, be free from lies,
she knows I'm right behind.

I know you will read this,
show everyone who you are.

But know I just couldn't deal
with all your crap anymore.

But for your sake, and hers too
I hope to God she can.

[dutchgirlfan]

whoow...cool..that last 2 sentences makes it still a bit...ehmz.. caring..something like that. Great. I like these 2 last lines the most.

[hazel681]

very heartfelt great poem!!!!!!!

[Fiona682]

ya it has good portraying lauguage meaning that your use of vocabulary paints a picture, nice!